Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Offering (3)

My body is just tired, but my brain is tired and buzzing, if that makes sense. Aunt Frieda is stalking me, I guess she wants a poem that does her justice.
As I've been told a couple of times that in my poems I am often not sparing enough with my words I took my sheet to the garden, sat in the sun and crossed words out with my thickest black marker. And again and again. Didn't leave me with a new whole poem but lots of little floating poem-clouds. These are my favourites - each of them could be a whole story. They're almost like titles for pieces of art.
Oh, and Tante Frieda's sister is here too.

girls in dresses
stiff
as blotting paper

17/6/09
I realise that something different is starting to interest me here. These lines are not so much about being spoken, I want them to be read, individually, and evoke images silently.
19/7/09
left only my favourite

5 comments:

Lesley said...

Brilliant. A whole tradition of cut ups, erasings i.e. an artist who removed the full stops or letter 'e' from each sentence (something like that). Are you going to keep the defaced pieces? Visual/text pieces? Really not in gear today and names escape me. But your edited poems really work in this way.

safespaces said...

Thank you for replying to my work too...and equally sorry for being tardy in responding...so much is going on.
I have some new work to post in the next few weeks, so you shall see some cose ups very soon.
Thanks again for the feedback.

mansuetude said...

girls in dresses
stiff
as blotting paper

burning
to be happy

.
the blotting paper is such an image! love it.

its nice the end note, the desire for images to enter the other...

Kruse said...

Carl Hiassen wrote that a writer should edit, edit, edit and erase all truly unnecessary words. Your pared back poems are exquisite.

Hope you are feeling less buggered by M.E. Glad you're still exhibiting.

How long have we been commenting on each-other's blogs now? This journey is so interesting.

swiss said...

i haven't forgotten i'm due you some form of longer exploration of earlier comments but holidays and flu ahve got in the way!

on the other hand i've finally got a rough note for the shoe poem which should be up in the next couple of days